Is A Choice: Winning the Battle Without Drugs,
A.B. Curtiss, 2001, Hyperion Publishers
is my favorite book so far (May) in 2002. Even though it is not
Christian, it has many parallels to what the Bible teaches on
the soul, happiness, responsibility, morality, volition, controlled
and uncontrolled emotions, etc. She is particularly good at quips
(sort of like proverbs) that help the struggling person take control
of their life without drugs. Christians should replace Curtiss'
concepts of "principle, doing something, and higher-mind
thinking" with "Bible doctrine, practical application
of the Truth, and putting on the mind of Christ." Here goes:
is our natural state. It is always available to us, in spite of
what we feel at the time.
get depressed not because we are doing something wrong, but because
there are a few essential things we have never been taught how
to do at all. Depression is essentially a trick of the mind. We
can learn how this trick works so that we won't be fooled by it
day, when depression began its periodic and pitiless attack on
me, I decided to fight back, mentally, and found that I had the
power all along to escape from depression. We simply have to learn
how to use our mind. The self is supposed to direct the mind to
manage our health, thinking, feelings, and behavior. It is simply
a matter of educating and training our minds so that anger and
depression are no longer in charge of us. I have domesticated
the Beast which I had once thought must forever feed upon me at
will - by calling upon the higher brain functions of reasoning,
intelligence, and creativity. Although I still experience the
same mood swings that used to devastate me, I now remain a calm,
stable, sober, and cheerful person.
requires dropping a belief that tells us we are the helpless victim
of our moods and our feelings. It is simply not true that we have
to think any thought that happens to bubble up in our mind. It
is simply not true that some of our feelings may be so strong
that we are compelled to act them out just because a chemical
up in our brain says so. We don't have to collapse into anxiety
and let it take us.
can, as an act of will, choose particular and specific thoughts
to switch the focus of our attention away from our depression.
This "directed thinking" depends upon chosen principles,
rather than feelings, to fund behavior.
Prozac, lithium, Ritalin, Paxil, and everything else the psychological
community has to offer are a complete waste of time.
was the perpetrator of my life, not the victim of it. Depression
served as a very convenient catchall for the whole mess of whatever
confusion and terribleness was going on in my life. I didn't seem
to mind dumping it all over my family, but I hid it from everybody
else so that it wouldn't hurt my image.
you are one of those depressed people who will not question yourself
or your thinking, nothing can be done. You have already been recruited
into mental illness by a depression conspiracy faster than the
speed of light. Psychiatry has sold you both a disease and a cure,
but drugs will not take you from scared to sacred.
is more effective than anything else for depressed patients. Studies
at Duke University have shown that three 30-minute workouts each
week brought relief equal to drug treatment. Even hard work makes
a person more cheerful. Psychology has been too interested in
the study of weakness and damage and not enough interested in
the study of strength and virtue - primarily due to the undue
influence of the pharmaceutical industry. The two work hand-in-hand
to sell us our own insanity, making us emotional weaklings who
psychology should have been doing is the discipline of depression
rather than the illness of depression.
of the underpinnings of depression is arrogance. Once deep into
depression, we can't imagine that we were ever the slightest bit
arrogant. But we mistake feelings of helplessness for humility.
There is nothing more stubborn and imperious than abject helplessness.
We need to be rescued from the cult of depression, and the first
step is to reject psychiatry's model of the mind. Psychiatrists
are famous for dwelling on the "why" of life, which
requires no action; as opposed to the "how" of life,
which does require action.
thoughts and feelings work in concert to pitch us into depression,
we can interject new thoughts and change the unwanted feelings
as an act of will. We think our way into depression, and we can
think our way out of it. We can choose which thoughts we wish
to think. We can simply choose to be okay. We can accomplish a
physical brainshift without introducing any outside chemicals.
self-responsibility requires courage.
disorders are simply a needless way to go around in narcissistic
circles. We enjoy an exaggerated feeling of self-importance in
has no power if we ignore it and insist upon thinking about something
else. It is our quick-fix society, with its hopeless hang-up on
cheap happiness and our dependence on drugs and the psychologists
and psychiatrists who purvey them that is the aberration, not
depression. Believing we must remain depressed or take medication
is a type of self-hypnosis.
is more of a routine than a disease.
always have the option to choose between the reasoning and creativity
of our higher mind and the emotional compulsions of the primal
mind. Choice is the most priceless gift we own. We modern-day
Americans usually choose to function from feelings, the totally
open-drawer policy. But we need to get our brains off blame and
use our higher minds properly.
long as we are complaining or succumbing to depression we are
safe from doing anything that might change the status quo. I didn't
know what complaining really was until I caught myself doing it
all the time. I didn't know that I was secretly counting on having
a perfect life and was therefore impatient with a normal, ordinary,
mixed-bag life. I am sure that I was influenced in this by a psychologized
modern-day tendency to look upon our success as more important
than our character, the circumstances that befall us as more significant
than how we respond to them.
we alternate blame, complaint, and depression like I used to do,
all the bases are covered. We are not connected to our own present
reality, and thus are not only lost to ourselves, but there is
no way for anyone else to connect with us either.
are neither smart nor moral, and they do not have the least modicum
of social responsibility. Feelings are like electricity, powerful
but dumb. And unless we learn how to handle them both properly,
either one of them can kill us.
spent 30-years as a manic-depressive wandering around my life,
until I decided I would refuse all thoughts of despair because
they were a waste of time and ultimately came to nothing. Thinking
negative or painful thoughts is a human being's most unnecessary,
unintelligent and pointless activity.
is extremely powerful, powerful enough to kill us. But it is not
at all intelligent and we can outsmart it seven days a week. And
this eternal striving helps us grow stronger and more confident.
person can say, "I don't believe you can change your mood
by altering your thinking or behavior." And because of this
belief, that person won't make any attempt to direct their thinking
or alter their behavior, which non-attempt then completely reinforces
their belief that it can't be done. He will be right. Thinking,
exercise and work will have no effect on his depression.
Prozac that feels good, not us. Prozac doesn't make us feel good
any more than a cherry pie makes us taste good. We feel bad, we
take Prozac. Prozac feels good and when it's gone, we still feel
to act upon your feelings, knowing that they are not necessarily
objective reality. Depression is not regular life. It is our own
private hell of self-absorption. We can't sit around and wait
for our life to get fixed up. Our only hope is to decide, as an
act of will, to get up anyway, even if we don't feel like it,
and take some small positive action. Run, or take a walk, take
out the garbage, make the bed, volunteer to clean up the highway.
goes away by itself when you withdraw your attention from it and
pretend it isn't there. Unless we attend to our thinking process,
our mind will keep on hurting, even in the absence of any real
problem. If we are thinking something rational in place of the
irrational, then the irrational will have to wait in the wings.
the world were run like summer camp (and maybe it should be),
we could each have a bunk buddy assigned to us. Then when we needed
to complain, blame, and moan about our lot, our buddy could listen,
reassure us that we are really okay by him, and remind us that
we seem to be overidentifying with our unhappiness instead of
swimming, boating, crafting, hiking, or doing something interesting
so that we could be having more fun at summer camp.
placing undue importance upon our feelings as the legitimate arbiter
of our behavior, our society has become fearful and aggressive,
and therefore, selfish, shallow, dependent, and depressed. Negative
feelings and behavior are not beyond our management if we assert
conscious authority over our thinking. But, unfortunately, we
will have little help from the psychological community as long
as it continues to insist that addiction is a disease, and an
excuse is as good as virtue. Excuses have taken on an importance
not commensurate with any true value. We use good excuses to counteract
the guilt we feel when we don't do what we are supposed to do.
But an excuse is not a ticket to anything. Its almost as if we
wish to be deceived.
people use the excuse that they aren't disciplined or organized,
that we are deficient in these things like some people. This is
a self-defeating as well as self-deluding remark. They are saying
that if we possess discipline, we can be organized and motivated
to plan our lives accordingly. This is totally backward. This
is like saying that if we have good muscles, we can exercise well.
It isn't our great strength that enables us to exercise, it is
our exercise that makes us strong. And it isn't discipline that
makes us organized. It is the humble stumble and bumble of working
on getting organized that makes us disciplined. We say, "I'm
not very disciplined," and plunk ourselves down comfortably
by the side of what we believe is some natural, God-given road
of weakness upon which it is our fate to be sidetracked. But we
aren't being sidetracked by God or fate. We are being sidetracked
by our own language. What we are really saying when we say we
arent disciplined is, "I don't have a high regard for duty."
is no cure for drug addiction or alcoholism. Not because they
are such insidious diseases, but because they are not diseases
in the first place. They are behavior choices. Depression and
mania cannot be cured either by psychotherapy or drugs because
they are also behavior choices. Both depression and mania begin
with chemical impulses in which one does not have to wallow helplessly
for very long.
whole psychological community is wrong. It is due to their influence
that we expect our mind to take care of us, instead of understanding
that we are supposed to take care of our minds. It is due to their
influence that psychology seeks for ways to excuse and understand
deviant behavior rather than to bring about compliance with common-ground
can't heal the mind. If we are being treated for depression, drugs
can so wig us out with a watered-down mania that, in effect, we
ingest our personality instead of creating it because we don't
have to depend on the consequences of our actions to fund our
feelings of well-being. With drugs, we just get a temporary feeling
adjustment, we don't increase in self-knowledge or become sure
of our moral strength by testing our mettle against the dark night
of our soul. The belief that we can't control ourselves when these
mood swings occur may be the only reason we don't do it, not because
we can't do it. It is a matter of practice. We just need to practice
controlling ourselves instead of practicing not controlling ourselves.
The self can decide if it wishes to be the passenger or the driver.
if the mind gave a depression and we didn't go.
is not a disease to be cured by drugs. It is a situation to be
transcended by a process change in the way we direct our thinking.
instinctual mind is never brave. The instinctual mind is a wimp
because it opts for status quo, for safety, rather than for principle.
junkies don't want to know the simple problem (voluntary ignorance)
because their primal mind doesn't want them to solve the problem
and change the status quo. They prefer to complicate problems
by thinking in circles. Complication is a great excuse to delay
action and wait around for something else to happen or someone
else to change.
primal mind loves it when we hang back, do nothing, lead chaotic
lives, and complain a lot, because the original primal mind is
by nature paranoid and cannot trust our johnny-come-lately upper-brain
improvements to save us. We have to see clearly what are the trick
strategies of the primal mind that gets us into the pickle in
the first place. Then we can choose higher-mind tricks to manage
the thought traffic jam that has gridlocked into depression.
is like a hole suddenly opening up in the side yard, dropping
us straight into hell. We feel lifeless, empty of all vigor. Isn't
it strange though, being so weak and helpless, how strongly we
insist we can't do anything, and how painful it is that nothing
matters? When we become our own depression by identifying with
it, by merging with it, and then trying to escape from it, we
end up fighting ourselves. When people tell us to pull ourselves
"up" by our own bootstraps, it is really no more of
an order of difficulty than what we are already doing to ourselves
in reverse - pulling ourselves "down" by our own bootstraps.
is totally dependent upon our rapt attention to it. Depression
is successful negative affirmation. We actually practice and exercise
our depression for years and then wonder why it is such a powerful,
strong, habitual force inside our minds.
have to start questioning our thinking as well as our feelings.
Why should we question our thoughts? Certainly other people will
question our thinking. Doesn't it put us at a terrible disadvantage
if we are the only ones in the world who do not question our thinking?
Wouldn't this be a good example of being unconscious?
did not choose depression. Depression occurred because of my lack
of choosing to go the way of being cheerful. Now I do cheerfulness.
I don't know the secret of life but, to me, doing cheerfulness
beats the heck out of doing depression.
should never just wait around until something happens to get us
out of our depression. We should just choose something to do,
interesting or not, whether we feel like it or not, and invest
some time and effort in it, and our interest in it will automatically
accumulate on its own as the neural activity in our upper brain
starts to light up. We must not take the line of least resistance
and adapt ourselves to our own depression.
descent from happiness to depression is arrogance, no matter that
we are crawling on our knees in anguish, begging for help. The
arrogance is that we got into this condition because we put ourselves
above the mundane, petty little everyday duties that we would
impose, for instance, upon our child or a lazy neighbor. We would
tell them: "Just get going. Snap out of it!" But don't
we hate it when someone says this to us when we are in our death
were depressed, we can't see any moral purpose in life more important
than our own selves and our own misery. Thinking about ourselves
makes us lose our grip on reality. Manic depression, rather than
being a disease, is caused by a series of poor behavior decisions
based on feel-good, short-term gains rather than harder-done,
long-term gains. Manic depressives are notoriously egocentric.
All we want to talk about is our suffering, our needs, our work,
our ideas, our writing, our childhood, our future success, because
it gives an immediate sense of satisfaction and emotional release.
But unfortunately it bores people to death and they want to run
in the other direction as soon as they see us. Then we complain
about feeling alienated.
psychologists are wrong and Shakespeare is right. "The fault,
dear Brutus, lies not in our stars [or our genes, or our chemistry]
but in ourselves" that we are so damn depressed.
are not talking about denying feelings. We are talking about choosing
one thought over another, and therefore causing different feelings
to arise in response to the different thoughts.
has a similar impulse to depression. Some people just do a better
job of directing their thinking past it. It isn't that their depression
isn't as painful. They simply make better use of other options
in order to bypass their depression, which, if they didn't bypass
it, would pitch them into the same interminable agony.
great-grandparents used willpower instead of Prozac and Zoloft.
They valued conscience, responsibility, honesty, commitment, dedication,
sacrifice, hard work, and courage. And they practiced to bear
suffering. These concepts were universally taught to children,
who naturally employed them as adults. These concepts had been
tested and revered for thousands of years. People trusted their
lives to them. In the 1960s we threw them all out.
people think that taking intentional control of our thoughts would
take all our energy and turn us into a robot of some kind. Nothing
could be further from the truth. What turns us into robots is
letting our mind spiral us down into depression.
depression that most people claim to suffer from is simply a bad
habit. Major depression is a very bad habit. We need to understand
that feeling is something we are doing, not something that we
are, something that is being done to us. Lacking adequate coping
mechanisms and moral intentions, we remain more interested in
our feelings than our decisions to have those feelings, more interested
in our thoughts than our decisions to have those thoughts.
we are so relentlessly centered on self, all other structures
of meaning and authority evaporate.
it is hard for this culture to teach us how to be the captain
of our depression because the theory and treatment of depression
is now the legal, court-protected, private property of psychiatrists
and psychologists, who have divorced themselves from the other
disciplines and are having affairs with the pharmaceutical companies.
succeeded in making itself the new moral authority by abandoning
principles in favor of feelings as the legitimate moral compass.
Living by our feelings has effectively trashed what we have come
to expect of a safe, sane, civil society. Psychology now extolls
the virtue of emotional responses over analytical reasoning -
the sleeveless triumph of image over education.
answer to depression is to access the higher mind at will so that
we can stir ourselves to action and detour quickly around this
painful stagnation when it occurs, instead of getting sucked into
it. Problems call for self-responsibility and self-reliance, not
Prozac or Zoloft.
do not yield to depression. I do not take any drugs for depression.
My wide mood swings have not altered, nor has anything else around
me changed in any significant way. My brain is the same; it is
I who have changed. I live now by principle rather than by feeling."